.... Now O lord my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?...
Solomon knew his place "little child" as well as the situation that he is in. He understands the context of the situation (great Israelites, too numerous to count or number) but does not shun from it. Asking for wisdom is a response to his context, as a means to do what is for him to do well.
I think that asking for wisdom is especially special as well since Solomon was just made king. Instead of believing in the power, riches, strength that comes with the role, Solomon fully accepts his need of God's strength in this.
To never take for granted that God's strength and glory is what I need.
We have been looking around for a place to marry. Friends as well as my mother have provided different suggestions on different beach locations. From the north of Singapore, one sees malaysia, from the west, many different cranes, south, cranes/Sentosa and east, parking lot of ships. I am grateful for the company, but feeling little let down by what I see..
How important is the site where the wedding is held? There are some places around the world that touch my heart, below is one of them, found during the trip in NZ. Still praying and hoping for the "perfect place".
At the end of the day, it is God's blessings that is the most important. I shall not forget that... Thankful for pastor who will marry me :)
I bought a dress. It was a very good deal in Singapore considering the very commercialized wedding business. I also had the blessings of impt people to buy it. As my brother received news about the dress, I sent a picture of the dress to him and we both had a "moment". He had goosebumps, and I wanted to cry. This getting married business is worst than hormones.... Finding myself with a myriad of emotions all the time.Need to get self more put-together.
I guess a dress makes this less of a figment of my imagination. It makes it real. I am feeling bit scared for today. The what-ifs r messing my mind. Why my frog and not any other man? (esp when he is so occupied with so many other things with life) How do I stay faithful to him in this day and age and what does this mean ( no more interaction with other people? What does it mean to be married?!)
Both Zechariah and Mary asked the angel questions regarding what he said to them, Zechariah was punished for his unbelief but Mary was not. Below are the 2 questions asked by Zechariah and Mary...
Zechariah's qn: "How can I be sure of this, I am old man an my wife is well along in years. "
Mary's qn: "How will this be, since I am a virgin"
Some of my initial thoughts...
1) Zechariah was looking for reassurance in his question, he based his thinking on human logic. What the angel is saying is humanly possible, but not likely.
2) Mary was looking for logic in what the angel told her. While greatly troubled, she believed and tried to make sense with what the angel said...Perhaps there was doubt, nevertheless, she had enough faith to try to understand this proposition which is illogical with her human mind.
Does God speak to us the way he spoke to Zechariah or Mary some many years ago? I tell mr frog that if I did not believe that God called us together, there is no way I can do this.But somedays, I wonder if I am being illogical and self-willing things to happen....
I think I need to pray and trust God more in this process. And yes, the sale of a dress has invoked so many different emotions and thoughts in me... :)
I went to the church I grew up in. In many ways, I consider this "home" but for all sorts of reasons, thought that it was better to move on. I guess that I have entered a new phase in thinking and would consider going "home" if I were in Singapore longer. However, I do not regret exploring as it definitely strengthened my faith in different ways.
Home. It's been a fuzzy feeling to be home. I think because I come home thinking that I am closing one chapter officially and starting another, everything feels very poignant. Be it feeling that this is not going to happen next time, or questioning myself about the decisions I have made in life, I find myself looking at life now through rose tinted glasses...
I thank God that he is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and He is around despite the changes in life. I am also reminded that I can only be me and that "pandering" or wishing that I am a different me does not make things any different because God made me me. ie I should just walk the road ahead of me without questioning my "weirdness"
While increasing my knowledge and options on what to do with the wedding, I have not really made real progress with tangible preparations. I find myself reminding myself that at the end of the day, God's blessings as well as family's blessing are of utmost important... the rest are details that are nice to have, but not paramount.