Thursday, June 24, 2010

changing skin. staying true.

Just discovered the "designer template" function on blogger and been playing with it. I find it a scary task to find something that represents me.I have kept this blog relatively low key becos this is how i want to keep myself accountable...not worrying about offending anybody while thinking through my thoughts. Anyway. something is better than nthg. Here is to my new blog skin!

Back from Myanmar. This has been quite an experience. I continue to feel humbled about how I am provided the opportunity to this exposure. Myanmar is quite interesting. It used to be the most developed country in South East Asia and rumor has it that our Minister Mentor had wanted to study there. Now, I hear stories of the university being moved out of Yangon, at least a bridge away to prevent student rebellion. The computer science department is by Paddy Fields... :) very strategic indeed.

It is difficult to see a country regress. I am always a little negative about how our govt is cut throat with Singapore's progress. Perhaps becos of the neighboring states, the idea of progress becomes a lot more important.. is the opposite of regression, progress? (sounds logical). When does progress becomes bad and when is it okie to just be content.

Many more thoughts but processed on my plane flight back on a "bag for vomit". haha. I dunno wat that is called. the air sickness bag.. :)

Glad to be home. taking a break b4 work calleth again. I feel like a dwarf in Snow White... hai hoo hai hoo. its off to work we go. :)

Monday, June 21, 2010

back at home...

Back from Myanmar. :)

Not feeling tip top.

But yes, will talk more soon. In the meantime. Hello World...

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

Carrie Underwood - I'll Stand by You (American Idol Finale)

Feeling blue. Almost letting the emotions get the better of me. Why so downcast my soul. My God is victorious and he loves me for me.

:( Sitting in the office, crying and reviewing policies. Macht kein spass.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

only a pawn in his game... (Bob Dylan)

Back in Singapore. (only for 4 nights) I started the unpacking in my new place but no, its no way near done. haha. I don't like this pack/unpack... but this is to be done. my sister was sweet today and tried to mother me. quite funny.

I am back from Dhaka after a 9 day stint.While there, life is very intense and revolves pretty much around work, sleep, eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep, work. well, you get the point. I hope that what I do brings some value to the people there, and I will not just be one of the many that comes and goes and nothing comes out of it.

Some thoughts as I wait for my hair to dry and then sleep.

As per my post below, I have been feeling pretty much like a "pawn". Seeing the "evil", "ugly", the "mgmt decisions" in different things and feeling weary that I am just a little thing that cannot influence but rather the one who does it, the overwhelming feeling of too much. I think that God was good in a very sweet way. Gentle and sweet. Ravi (HR director in Bangladesh I worked with) brought me to a pentecostal service in one of Dhaka's oldest church building,the Armenian Church.

This was quite an interesting building, probably one of the oldest in Dhaka. We drove through traffic and suddenly, went into a side street and we arrived! haha, it was quite interesting as it was definitely not situated in a "safe expat" area. We were welcomed by the overwhelming smell of the stagnant drain. When entering the hall, it was interesting with the mix of Bangla and the Christian culture around the altar.

The Ecumenical Church of Dhaka had invited the Taize Brothers to lead us in singing of some choruses. The choruses are somewhat like gregorian chants, not very much melody and they repeat themselves many (many) times. "eg: Let us wait upon the Lord, for his good, let us wait upon the Lord, for he is God" (x5) At one point in time,while we were singing, the muslim prayers suddenly blasted from the loudspeakers of the mosque just beside us. Quite funny, as though we were both competing for attention from the Gods! To add to this symphony, the swallows around us started to "sing" as well. It was a very interesting service. I very much enjoyed the "life"...

The preacher began his sermon with the Bob Dylan Song's, "Only a pawn in his game" and how we can sometimes feel like that. He ends the sermon telling us that, no we are not pawns, and yes, God is sovereign. Not some other evil force out there. That was a good timely reminder.

During the small group meeting on another occasion, the devotions was taken from possibly the most well known verse in Micah. about our requirement " to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God". It was an interesting perspective I have not considered, looking at the verbs, "Act, Love and Walk".

We are not called to love the ideal of Justice, but rather to do it. In the face of great injustice, to not give up but to keep at acting justly.

While acting justly, we are called to not become bitter of those who receive mercy, but rather to love mercy, the mercy/grace that results in what might be undeserved, if the benchmark was in justice.
and finally to remember that we are not going to always do the right thing, and it is only with walking with our God humbly do we stand a chance.

Thank you Lord for this reminder. You know how much I wish to hear from you.while it is easier to hear/feel the ground shaking, mountain top -esque type of experince,it is through these quiet whispers that reminds me of your presence. Thank you for reminding me that it is ok to be the little person. however little, you are here n u make all things beautiful.

good night world. God loves.. very much.