Wednesday, November 25, 2009

feels better after bawling.



He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4

Friday, November 06, 2009

contemplation.

1) I dont know how people can live life without God. Who else is there to whine to? Turn to? Hope for? and to look forward to? Today, I was reminded of a Psalm. I thank God for google. I type the psalm (not the most complete) and found it. It calmed me down. And yes, I will continue to claim it...

2) Life here. Not made much comments about my life here since arriving. In reality because it has been hard. I think today I have come to terms that it is hard... and that is it ok. Nothing too wrong with me. :) I am still trying to not be sick every day. This week I am battling a horrible cold, cough and sore throat. I think the worst is behind me and I am beginning to eat healthy stuff (ate an apple today (dont't like apples))

3) Germany is a very strange land. Tissue paper has jojoba oil and aloe vera so that when sneezing, its not too painful. haha. Or cough mixtures in little sachets(think the long sugar sachets in Macdonalds) for ease of use. It's still very intriguing to me how the new and the old co-exist. Lots is spent on conservation etc but yet at the same time, they are all for the new modern stuff.

4) Most people at work know why I am in Germany. This is bitter sweet. I think myself as quite a private person. haha, sure, i think I have made a habit of talkin bout myself at times because I cant talk bout my work. But strange when people you dont really know know u r here. Hmmm, think this is fine. Just feel pressured if this doesnt work out. Its been a struggle with the professors (or the non existence of them) I thank God I have 1 appointment finalized but i am scared. What happens if this doesnt work out What do I do? I was contemplating pehrpas another land, another plan, but honestly, I dont know if I have the energy for that. Hmm, I think I am just fretting. Need to calmmmmmm ddooowwwnnn. Hmm, Anyone has contacts here. I am looking for a non profit major professor to oversee my thesis. :)

ok, will leave you with the psalm in my head. Thank you for all who are on my side, who are praying for me and love me! hee. I know I am not alone... Also, thank you God for being mine. Whatever the future holds, yes I am in his hands.

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh, [a]
when my enemies and my foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.

3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then will I be confident.

4 One thing I ask of the LORD,
this is what I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to seek him in his temple.

5 For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
and set me high upon a rock.

6 Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the LORD.

7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD;
be merciful to me and answer me.

8 My heart says of you, "Seek his [b] face!"
Your face, LORD, I will seek.

9 Do not hide your face from me,
do not turn your servant away in anger;
you have been my helper.
Do not reject me or forsake me,
O God my Savior.

10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
the LORD will receive me.

11 Teach me your way, O LORD;
lead me in a straight path
because of my oppressors.

12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
for false witnesses rise up against me,
breathing out violence.

13 I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 27

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Where i am today.

An emotional roller coster
A body that is slowly giving way
A ringing bell indicating that its mid day
A girl still tucked in bed trying to do some work.

What will the future hold? How will things unfold?
To be safe and secured, in my savior and my God.

A post to a better tomorrow!

ps: I wil post photos up when i use my other laptop.. very very soon!