Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Happy New Year....

Master, Mission, Mate... The priorities and the fundamentals in life as expounded by pastor. One should not get the order wrong else focus will be self. I believe that. But this is not wat culture speaketh of.

Happy Chinese New Year. This year, we do our annual rounds to my parents' elders place. The questions they ask centers ard, 1) My brother's occupation and how he is doing, 2) when are you getting married, 3)what do you do...

As my relatives are rather chinese, I would say, I do "office" work and no, not yet, not getting married. Somehow, this feels like a "wrong" answer as I do not fit into some expected mould. Sure, I get it we do not need to conform, but after 7 houses of reinforcement that this is the thing to do. its tough. its tough to believe that you make sense. tough to believe that you made the right decision and is on the path of the straight and narrow...

Nevertheless, we are called to not conform. To believe and not waver. to know deep in my heart.
This I will do. I will love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, mind, strength, because I know, deep inside, God loves me dearly too and it is well in my soul.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

My new Mr Darcy... :)))

Hehe. yes. He is non other than Mr Obama. Hahaha.meet the new ideal... Well. I dont think of him as someone that I gush I want to spend my life with (erm, I tend to be more selfish, I actually want to have my husband ard... stead of campaigning and worrying about the big world) but He, the new Mr President has made me stay up late at night, is my constant distraction at work, inspires me to be a better person, to have hope in this big bad world....

Okie... my frog might actually get jealous if I go on with this train of thought.... yesterday, I wanted to finish some work and watch a little of the inaguration before calling my frog. Hee. I am not American, not black, but this matters to me, resonantes deeply....

Hmmm, yesterday while listening to his speech, I was taken back by his ideals that he is willing to work for, for honesty, hardwork,.. He is the president, probably one of the most powerful man in the world, granted some of what he says is just feel good mumbo jumbo,but he inspires, he does make you believe that the sum of individuals ambitions is smaller than what the common ambition can achieve... He believes in a bigger purpose, is humbled by the job, asks God for guidance, and people to be ready to work. :)

Hope, perserverance, redemption. That which is needed in the valley, the shadow, the depths a a country, ...... even that of one's soul. With this inaguration, I feel encouraged. haha, of "yes we can"

The problem with my job is that after coming back from a stint and typing up the loose ends, the change of pace is abrupt, the need to face self is great,the need to grapple... this tends to sink me into a deep abyss of emos. haha. (Like it or not. I need to accept how God has made me. ) Coupled with this, I had a "bloody fight" last year with management on what I felt was the right thing to do. I fought tooth and nail, utilised all political connections, prayed, bitched, worked it to the end. Along the way, I was disappointed by people, frustrated at how things are, angry with the injustice of this earth. realised my place in this world... perhaps the good thing that came out was also about surrender. I can make the most beautiful proposal,.. by at the end of the day... God is in charge... he will do as he pleases.

I am currently trying to write up my school application. This has proved to be a difficult task. I ask if this is what I want. I wonder about the topic to consider and freak out once ever so often. Credit must go to my frog who tries to put up with me. haha even if he might be the cause of this season in life... :) Anyway, while listening to the speech last night, I had a glimpse. A glimpse of what a future might look like. Of inspiring young minds... of being a vessel that they might find the potential in themselves. So with that, I have a renewed zeal to this application that I am sorting out...

Final thought. seasons are necessary for one to see the flow of time. To be like Jesus... To remember that things do not stay the same. Not forever. This is a journey, not a destination...Do you know where you are going? There is a season for everything. It's time to move on. to work out the details, to be brave and glad...

Welcome Mr President ;)

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Checklist for turning from a girl to a woman.. Be a Girl... Easier

"A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ... a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..... a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .... a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... HOW TO QUIT A JOB, BREAK UP WITH A LOVER, AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year..." —

Maya Angelou


Sunday, January 18, 2009

Art, Religion, Emotions

Vincent Van Gogh, Claude Monet. Two of my favorite artists. One chopped off his ear when his artist friend decided that they needed some distance and eventually killed himself, the other tried to kill himself because of despondency. One was a preacher before he started painting. Both extremely affective souls. price to pay for ingenuity. hmmm.

Hello 2009. I cannot believe a new year is here. this year, I turn the wrong side of 25. haha. I feel old. Hmmm, i know in the grand scheme of things, it is not old. But it is as though the tide is turning, a new chapter is turning and with change, comes uncertainty.

The theme thought this year has got to do with forgetting what is behind, will strain, focus and be faithful in obtaining the goal.... Godliness. to know deep inside that Jesus is the reason.

May God forever be the strength in my weakness. Have a great week ahead! Welcome Mr President! :)

Ps: Thank you frog for my art prints! :)